


It's like you're my mirror (My mirror staring back at me)

by Anonymous



Category: National Football League RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-27
Updated: 2020-04-27
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:21:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23865955
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: For the prompt "I want more secondhand embarrassment in amnesia fics" with several examples given.
Relationships: Danny Amendola/Julian Edelman
Comments: 5
Kudos: 20
Collections: Anonymous





	It's like you're my mirror (My mirror staring back at me)

**Author's Note:**

> I don't normally write for this fandom, but i saw this prompt mentioned for them, noticed no one had written it, and my hand slipped. Slight AU in that they didn't know each other before Danny joined the Pats.

Danny's first thought was that everything hurt. His second thought was also that everything hurt. His third thought was that if he opened his eyes, maybe he would figure out why everything hurt. He did. It hurt. But at least he now had some idea of what was going on. Danny was in a hospital, dressed in an uncomfortable gown and surrounded by monitors. He had no idea why, nor did he know why there was a giant of a man sitting next to him. Huh?

"Huh?" 

The man looked up from his phone.

"Danny! You're awake!"

"Uh. Yeah. Who are you? Why am I in the hospital?"

The man's grin faded.

"Shit. I'm...uh...I'm probably not the best person for this. Hang on, lemme grab a nurse."

Luckily, a nurse came bustling into the room just as the giant was standing up. 

"Danny! You're awake! Good." She said, bustling around him and jotting down notes about various monitor readings.

"He doesn't remember things though," The big guy contributed.

"Amnesia. Fairly common with a concussion of this magnitude. Mr. Amendola, we're going to ask you a series of questions to determine exactly what knowledge has been impacted. OK?"

"Okay." 

"What is your full name?"

"Daniel James Amendola."

"Good. Birthday?"

"November 2nd, 1985."

She continued on, asking questions about his family and childhood. Danny answered all of them. 

"And where did you go to college?"

Shit. 

"Um...I'm not sure." 

The nurse noted that down.

"Do you remember anything about your life now? What you do for a living, for example, or a friend's name? Your address?"

Danny hesitated.

"I always wanted to be a football player growing up. And if I'm in here with a concussion and a giant, it seems like that might have happened."

The giant snickered, but the nurse nodded approvingly.

"It seems like all parts of the brain that control logic are still fully functioning. That's excellent news. You are, in fact, a professional football player. Your concussion happened during an unfortunate mid-practice incident. I'm going to go get the doctors and update them. Mr. Gronkowski, you're welcome to show him pictures of your teammates, see if it triggers anything."

"Aight," said the giant-Mr. Gronkowski-as the nurse left.

"Gronkowski?" 

"Mmmhmm. Just Gronk is fine, or Rob. I play tight end for the team. Let me pull up some pictures, see if anything clicks."

Gronk started scrolling through pictures of various players on his phone, narrating as he went. 

"That's Tom Brady, our QB, with his wife Giselle. The old dude is Belichick, our coach, and next to him is Robert Kraft, the team owner."

"Is that my boyfriend?" Danny asked, as the next picture showed up on the screen.

Gronk choked on the sip of coffee he had just taken.

"Um. No. That's Julian Edelman. He plays wide receiver, like you."

"Why am I looking at him like that then?"

Gronk gave a huge sigh. "You always look at him like that dude."

"Always?!?" Danny squeaked, feeling himself blush.

"Always." Rob confirmed, "look."

He googled "Danny Amendola and Julian Edelman" on his phone, flipped to images, then handed the device to Danny, who started scrolling through the results.

"Do I not realize that other people can see me?" He asked, absentmindedly.

"If it makes you feel better, he's just as oblivious as-"

"Who's oblivious?" Asked a new voice, entering the room.

Holy shit. It was that dude. Julian. Crap. The pictures did not do him justice. Not his perfectly styled hair, not his blue eyes, not his sharp jawline, not his...

"Everyone but me!" Gronk replied cheerfully, cutting off Danny's train of thought.

"Sure Gronk," Julian answered, ruffling the other man's hair before turning to Danny. "How's the patient,"

"Amnesic," Danny replied. 

"Damn dude. Seriously?"

"Seriously. I can remember everything up until college, but then...poof."

"Do they think the memories will come back?" Julian asked, addressing both Danny and Rob this time.

"We can't say for sure, but they usually do in cases like this," the nurse replied, arriving back into the room accompanied by several doctors. "You two gentleman need to leave now, but you're welcome to stay in the waiting room. We'll call you back in here when we're done."

* * *

Two days later, Danny was discharged from the hospital and Gronk and Julian arrived to bring him home.

"This is where I live?!?" Danny exclaimed, as the three of them pulled up to a gorgeous apartment building.

"You are an NFL player buddy," Gronk pointed out as Julian unlocked the door to the penthouse.

"Cool. So, Gronk and I figured we would stay with you for a little while while you recover. Make sure you're waking up every couple of hours, ask those questions the docs gave us to see if you're recovering, drive you around if needed. That sort of stuff." Julian explained.

"Uh. OK. Sounds good. Wait. Drive me around? Don't I have my own car?"

"You do, but Boston is a pain in the ass to navigate with working memories and a state-of-the-art GPS. With a busted brain, you're gonna be hopeless, and you're not supposed to drive with a concussion anyways. Also, your car is still at Gillette, where we play." 

"Ok, that makes sense. Can you maybe go get it for me though, just so I have it when I need it?"

"Sure bud," Julian answered, snagging the key from a hook by the door with easy familiarity and heading out.

The minute the door closed, Danny turned to Rob.

"OK, so tell me more about me. What restaurants do I like around here? Is there a movie theater I go to? Do I have a girlfriend? A boyfriend? Shit, am I even out as bi?"

"You're single." Gronk answered, skipping over the first two questions entirely. "And no, you're not officially out, except to me now I guess, but it's pretty obvious from the way you and Jules look at each other that there's something there. A lot of us were pretty sure you'd come out together back when a gay dude got drafted a couple years back in support or something like that, but it never happened. Then he got cut so it kinda became irrelevant again." 

"So people like, know?"

"Dude, you saw the pictures yourself. I'm pretty sure there are blogs devoted to you two, and those people don't spend hundreds of hours with you guys. You're always pranking each other in the locker room, you have keys to each other's houses and can unlock each other's phones. You're always the first one to get to each other when one of you makes a play. It I could choose one person to represent that heart eyes emoji, it would be both of you, looking at each other. Some guy asked me in an interview who the team's bromance is, and I said you guys, and barely held back from saying that 'bormance' was probably an understatement. If they ask for people to go to space who won't get sick of-"

"Enough man! Jesus." Danny cried as he sank down into an armchair, dropping his head into his hands.

"Sorry." Gronk replied, sitting down next to him. "It's just kinda frustrating that it takes fuckin' amnesia for you to notice what the rest of us have been seeing for years."

"So what you're telling me is that unless he gets severe head trauma too, we're never gonna end up together," Danny groaned.

"No, what I'm saying is that when you get your memories back, maybe this will ensure that that _doesn't_ have to happen," Rob answered, with surprising softness.

* * *

Gronk and Jules have been staying with him for about a week, and his memories are slowly starting to return. Three days ago, they had dug an old jersey out of his closet, and a wave of memories of college had hit him like a freight train. Last night, they had been wandering around the neighborhood when Danny had smelled something amazing.

"What is that?" he had asked.

"What's what?

"Whatever that smell is. It's amazing."

Julian and Gronk had exchanges glances.

"That's a restaurant near here. You hungry?"

"I am now!"

They started to walk in the direction that the scent was coming from, and Danny inhaled deeply. Whatever it was smelled warm and garlicky and...

"Gino's!" He exclaimed. "We'll get Gino's for dinner!"

Rob had whooped loudly and screamed "FUCK YEAH, GINO'S FOR DINNER" at a volume that make a nearby family with small children glare while Julian and Danny snickered.

They had stayed up pretty late watching movies after the pizza had been devoured, and Danny had been able to remember more about what he liked and didn't like on screen. Rob and Julian were still asleep in their respective guest bedrooms when Danny woke up though, so he had only made himself coffee as he booted up his laptop at the kitchen island.

"Password." he muttered to himself, staring at the screen. "password, password, password."

He tried his mother's maiden name, then a few things involving Texas and the Patriots, then finally surrendered and clicked the "hint" button.

"LOML" said the window.

Love of his life? What the...Danny sighed and tried a few variants of "Edelman," sighing when one of them worked. Maybe Jules had set it up as a prank? Danny mulled it over as he sipped on his coffee, tooling around on his computer. He'd been able to check e-mail on his phone, but some new ones had come in so he dealt with those. Most of his documents seemed to be game related, sorted by season. There was one file labelled "discussions," and one labelled "learning stuff," that weren't dated. Danny opened discussions first, and winced.

The folder was filled with conversations with Julian for pretty much every app out there. Facebook, twitter, instagram...Danny let his head thunk down to the table. Jeez. Was he seriously this pathetic? Julian was obviously awesome. Even without everything Rob had said, Danny knows he would be falling for the other man all over again, just from this week together. Julian remembered details of Danny's life, like how he liked his coffee, perfectly, helping Danny to rediscover himself. They had the same taste in movies, liked the same pizza toppings...Jules was patient with Danny when he couldn't remember something and enthusiastic when he could. Also, his initial reaction when seeing the pictures of Julian was accurate: the man was beautiful, his good looks enhanced all the more by his caring personality. Danny could swear he had caught those gorgeous blue eyes looking at him in a way that was a little more than friendly a few times, but Julian had always looked away quickly. Danny understood; There was sort of a power imbalance right now and Julian might not want to make a move if he wasn't sure that Danny would reciprocate once he had his memories back. But then why hadn't Julian made a move before all of this? That was enough of that for now. Danny closed his laptop just as Julian himself entered the kitchen.

* * *

Two days later, Danny was alone in the kitchen again. Rob had gone home the day before, saying that he was pretty sure Julian could handle any remaining issues, and Julian himself was out for a run. This time, Danny opened the "learning stuff" folder. He wasn't sure what he expected, but tons of information of Judaism wasn't it. History, recipes, holidays...No guesses as to who in his inner circle practiced the religion.

"I. Am. Pathetic." He said out loud, just as he heard the door open.

He quickly switched to a folder on game stats from the most recent season as Julian came into the room.

"What was that Bubs?" Julian asked, stripping off his sweaty shirt and getting himself a glass of water from the fridge.

"Nothing," Danny answered, trying not to gape. 

"Good. Because I thought I heard you call yourself pathetic, and you're not. You're healing amazingly well from an awful experience. Don't be so hard on yourself." Julian finished, wrapping an arm around Danny's shoulders and squeezing him in a quick side hug.

Danny's mind went blank...er...blank-er for a minute.

"Julian..." he sighed, turning to face his teammate and getting lost in those blue, blue eyes.

"Yeah Danny?" 

"Uh. You reek." he blurted out, too busy focusing on Jules' arm around him to think about what he was saying. The arm withdrew.

"Well, I just ran 5 miles, so you're probably not wrong." The blonde replied.

He headed down the hallway, and Danny allowed himself to watch the muscles in Jules' back ripple under his tan skin until he turned the corner.

* * *

Saturday, Danny woke up to an amazing smell coming from the kitchen. He got out of bed, rolling his head and shoulders to work out the kinks, and headed down the hallway. Halfway to the kitchen, he froze.

"Challah french toast." He said out loud, practically tasting the heavy, sweet breakfast dish on his tongue.

Once that memory hit him, the floodgates were open. Julian making the meal the morning after a Superbowl win, both of them hungover and happy. Julian cooking in his own kitchen while Danny sat at the island narrating like a cooking show. Julian, Julian Julian...

Danny rounded the corner, seeing Julian at the stove. There's the scar on his shoulder from a skateboarding accident when he was a kid. There's the tattoo on his forearm. There's the man that Danny finally remembers running out of the tunnel next to, over and over and over. The memories combine with everything from the past couple of weeks, and Danny is practically bowled over by the strength of everything that he's feeling.

"Jules..." He breathes, as everything rushes back to him.

The blonde must hear him, because he turns around, looking concerned.

"You ok man?"

"Yeah. Um. Better than. I just...I just remembered that you made this after that Superbowl win. And a bunch of other stuff."

Julian's grin is dazzling, but it quickly changes to a look of concern. 

"That's great. Amazing actually, but you look like you're about to keel over. You should sit, I'll bring you a plate when it's done. Should be just another minute."

Danny sits, and true to Julian's word the french toast is done and sprinkled with syrup and powdered sugar in short order. Julian places a plate in front of Danny with a flourish and Danny's heart _aches_ with how much he loves him. Julian sits down across from him, and they both enjoy their breakfast.

"So, what other stuff do you remember?" Julian asks, once they've eaten, "Stuff about football, or the team, or...?"

And yeah, come to think of it, Danny suddenly can name all of his teammates, and recite Belichick's playbook, and all of that stuff again. But right now, that's not what he's focused on. Because along with all of his love for Julian, all of his fears have come rushing back too. But he thinks about how Julian has taken such good care of him, and the little details the other man knows like it isn't a big deal, and how it was _Julian_ who made all of his memories come back, and everything Gronk said, and suddenly those fears seem, well, not silly, but not important enough to not say what he wants to.

"Yeah, yeah, I remember all of that. But I also remembered," Danny takes a deep breath, "I also remembered that I love you."

"I love you too Bubs," Julian replies immediately, but there's something sad about it, and something frozen in his voice when he says "You're my best friend," and gets up to clear the plates, not making eye contact. 

"No!" Danny exclaims, suddenly desperate. He's lost two weeks and several years of what could be, he's not going to let "best friend," stand any longer. "Not like that Jules," he says. "I don't love you like that. I _love_ you. I'm _in_ love with you."

Julian still isn't looking at him, doesn't turn when he says, "Danny, are you sure your memories are back."

"Yes! Yes, I am I just...hang on." Danny answers, sprinting for the bedroom.

When he gets back with his laptop, Julian is sitting at the table. This time, the blonde is the one with his head in his hands. Danny doesn't hesitate to unlock the computer, going straight to the "discussions," folder.

"Jules, look," he says, gently. 

The other man's eyes widen as he takes in the screen in front of him. 

"I have these from the entire time we've known each other. I saved the first conversation we ever had, because I wanted to remember how kind and welcoming you were when I came to the team. And then I kept saving them because I wanted to remember everything about you."

Julian's mouth is hanging open; his eyes are soft and suspiciously shiny. Danny clicks over to the "learning stuff," file.

"I, um. I've been researching Judaism. I've seen how important it is to you, how happy it make you being able to connect with your roots. I wanted to be able to share that with you."

Julian still hasn't said anything, and Danny closes the laptop.

"Look, I. I get it if you don't feel the same way. But I've been falling for you for two weeks now, and getting my memories back made me realize that I'd been falling for forever before that. So if there's one thing I've learned from this it's that no matter what, I'm going to want to be with you. I just. I thought you should know."

"Danny," Julian breathes, and it's the only warning Danny gets before Jules is kissing him. 

His mouth is sticky-sweet from the maple syrup, his hands warm on Danny's cheeks, his neck, his back. He _pulls_ at Danny, hauling the other man into his lap, and Danny moans as he wraps his arms around Julian, resting his hands on the blonde's shoulder blades. Danny doesn't know how long they kiss for, but it feels like hours. Days. When they break apart, he blinks his eyes open just long enough to rest his forehead against Julian's.

They stay like that for a forever, just breathing. Just being.

"I love you too Bubs."


End file.
